There’s been some uproar about the traditional Christmas Nativity play this year. We’re not sure if it’s appropriate, we’re worried it’s exclusive of certain cultures and religions and with class sizes rising, there just aren’t enough parts. But if you grew up in the 90s, you’ll know nothing of these problems. Back in your day, things were simple. The pretty girl got to be Mary and the rest of you could fight over Shepherd, Wise Man and Angel or be stuck in the Chorus and not say another word. Each year was the same and it was comforting to know exactly what was coming. These are the 22 things that were guaranteed to happen every single year in your Christmas Nativity as a 90s child.

1. The excitement of who was going to be given which part was just too much to handle

2. And you always felt the joy that this year, yes this year you might just make Mary

3. Despite knowing deep down that only the pretty, popular girls could be Mary, but holding out hope right up until the last minute anyway

4. Before being given the job of changing the words on the over-head projector and knowing that you have failed at life completely

5. Seeing the grim determination in your Mum’s face each year, to create a costume that kept the balance between ‘I care for my child’ and ‘pushy mum’

6. The year someone was sick out of nerves, which was simultaneously horrifying and hilarious as they projectile vomited over everyone’s heads

7. The year that your class ran out of parts and someone had to be cast as a stable door. No, really.

8. Asking your mum to make an angel costume and visioning something beautiful and glorious, only to end up in an recyled sheet left over from halloween tied at the waist with one of her old belts. Thanks then.

9. The year you got downgraded from Angel to sheep, just for taking a few days off. Poxy cold.

10. Everyone trying to recreate the Jesus beard because LOL how much fun could you have with some brown fluff and a piece of sticky tape

11. Feeling sorry for the Jehovah Witness kids who had to sit out of the school play and spend every rehearsal time organising the class book shelf

12. Having to wear a teatowel on your head as a shepherd and feeling like the biggest idiot known to man

13. The excitement you felt at gaining your first speaking role and how you felt like you had finally made it in life and that maybe you should be an actress when you grow up because SO MUCH TALENT

14. Feeling sorry for the ridiculously small girl in your class, who got the most awws from the audience and was mortified about it

15. The fight you had over who would have over the most serious job of all: holding the baby Jesus (a balding doll brought in and wrapped in a sheet)

16. Avoiding the the mess from the child who weed themselves on stage, which sometimes was retained to the dress rehearsal and sometimes happened on the big night itself. Ewwww

17. Feeling terrified that your mum and dad wouldn’t make it to see you and the intense relief you felt when you finally spotted them in the audience

18. Feeling a bit bored in the second half and going in for a knicker-readjustment or arm stretch, while teachers everywhere motioned at you furiously

19. Not really understanding what frankincense or myrrh was, but knowing that they were probably like the modern day equivalent of a selection box

20. Getting fed up with the girl in your class who insisted on shouting every line to Jingle Bells, completely drowing out your sweet, sweet melody. Stupid show off.

21. Seeing your teacher do some weird kind of mouth gurning at the side of the stage and trying to work out what she was saying before realising that you’d forgotten to say your one and only line

22. Giggling every time the teacher made Mary and Joseph hold hands and simultaneously feeling grateful it wasn’t you because LOL boys


Ahh the joy of nativity! Share this post on Facebook


Image sourced c/o Colin Davey

Beth Gladstone

Beth is a Writer and Digital Marketer who founded The Full Agenda as a place to talk about the things that kept her and her friends up at night. Currently working as a Marketing consultant to various SMEs she is a big fan of the startup market and loves technology, apps and anything social media related. When not obsessively checking Google Analytics, she can be found reading, writing or relaxing with a glass of Prosecco.

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