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Things you think you'll never do in front of your partner until you move in together

 

If you’ve been within 50 steps of a 50 shades of grey book, you’ll probably image moving in with your beau to be a soft haze of morning romps, sexed up hair and crisp white, oversized shirts. Unfortunately, E. L. James fails to mention the bodily functions, bad habits and unsociable behaviour that we just can’t leave behind when we move in with the love of our lifes. So to save you the shock, we thought we’d enlighten you with the 15 things you think you’ll never do in front of your partner… until you move in together.

 

1. Wear your dressing gown.

It’s the most hideous piece of clothing you own but it makes you feel great and now you can’t resist, even if it does make you look like a giant marshmallow. Marshmallows are sexy right?

2. Pass wind

It’s inevitable. First it will be in your sleep, then in another room and before you know it you’re cocking a leg.

3. Take your makeup off

It’s time to reveal that actually, you did not wake up like this.

4. Talk about your deepest, darkest fears

Finally, there’s someone who knows about your fear of cats, who won’t judge you like you’re the anti-christ.

5. Eat. Like a Pig

At first it was all dainty salads and no-I’ll-just-have-the-chicken. Now it’s bargain buckets and family-sized bags of Sensations. They’re meant to be for sharing? As if

6. Remove a tampon

You swore you’d never utter the T word in your boyfriend’s presence. Now you’re just like, hey, what goes up must come down babe.

7. Poo

There’s only so many times you can get away with using the loos at work/the gym before you have to give in and release your inner offerings.

8. Wear your period pants

When you’re bloated and uncomfortable, it’s hard to remember to care.

9. Stop shaving your legs

No longer can you keep up the pretence that you have the hair growth of a small child. The farce is over my friend.

10. Cry

Ugly crying, loud crying, crying for absolutely no reason at all. Just think how long they went, unaware that there was so many different ways you could go for it.

11. Squeeze your spots

And ask them to help you do it.

12. Turn down sex for sleep

Because there’s tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that…

13. Wear mismatched underwear

Matching two set? Frankly, you’ve forgotten you ever owned any.

14. Have morning sex

Now you’re past the awkward morning-breath phase, sex in the AM is your new favourite thing.

15.  Be dorky

It took moving in together to realise that you get to have an extended sleepover with your best friend, every single night. And you can spoon.

 

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Beth Gladstone

Beth is a Writer and Digital Marketer who founded The Full Agenda as a place to talk about the things that kept her and her friends up at night. Currently working as a Marketing consultant to various SMEs she is a big fan of the startup market and loves technology, apps and anything social media related. When not obsessively checking Google Analytics, she can be found reading, writing or relaxing with a glass of Prosecco.

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