When I think back to the friendship groups I’ve moved through throughout the years, there are many. From primary school groups who dispersed in secondary, huge...
We all have things or situations that we’re a little scared of. Mine seem to go through phases. At one point the dentist, then flying, then the dentist again, getting stuck on trains, eating certain foods, rain (yes really, although in my defence I was seven).
As I’ve got older, my fears have fizzled away for the most part. I love flying, I pay privately to see my dentist every three months, such is my love of a good hygiene and I can even dance on the rain without worrying I’ll drown. Now my fears are older, more locked in experience. I fear family members I love dying, I fear running out of time before doing all the things I need to do. I fear dates and interviews – but who doesn’t? (A large glass of rose seems to simmer down the first, the latter not so much).
I also fear doing grown up things that come with a different type of fear all together. A thrilling fear I like to call it. For me, this includes
These are the type of fears I try to tackle daily. I never turn down an opportunity to give a pitch or presentation publicly. It brings me out in cold sweats for weeks but secretly I love it. There’s something instantly gratifying about getting up on stage as a young woman and being able to hold the room’s attention.
I also go to at least one new event per month, on my own, on something I’m interested in. Sure, it would be much more fun to be surrounded by a gaggle of girls, laughing and joking. But how would I really listen to what’s in front of me that way? How would I find new members of my tribe or be able to people watch from the sidelines? It scares me but I’ll do it.
This week I booked in two new things that scare me. A lot.
The first, is something that I’ve seen a few of my favourite bloggers do, which I won’t confess for the simple fact that I need to keep it for me. Other than my boyfriend, it’s not something I expect to share with anyone else now or ever. I will simply know that I’ve done it and for me, that’s enough. Sometimes facing fears is not about what you share on Instagram or your Facebook update, it’s something that goes much deeper inside you and allows you to just know. To know and feel proud of you, for you.
The second, is signing up to a book club. It’s something I’ve always wanted to try, but after being told in my English Lit seminars at Uni that I had good ideas but was ‘too quiet to share them’ I’ve always held back. This may not seem like a big deal to some – books and wine after all, what’s not to like? But for me, it’s putting myself out there, going alone and realising a very personal love of books and characters along with others.
Often it is what scares us that makes us who we are.
So for now, I’m scared but I’m doing it. And that’s all you have to do in life. In the words of a queen Susan Jeffers you have to feel the fear and do it anyway.
What are you scared of and how are you facing it?
Beth is a Writer and Digital Marketer who founded The Full Agenda as a place to talk about the things that kept her and her friends up at night. Currently working as a Marketing consultant to various SMEs she is a big fan of the startup market and loves technology, apps and anything social media related. When not obsessively checking Google Analytics, she can be found reading, writing or relaxing with a glass of Prosecco.
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